Cristian

There’s one person in the dining room at the hotel besides me. I’m asking some question of the waiter and he speaks up to help and we continue talking. His name is Cristian and he’s a chef in Switzerland (along with being a very successful businessman amongst other things). He’s spending a month at this hotel to improve the cooking and the menus. He’s in his last days here and it’s obvious he’s done a fabulous job.

He later tells me he recognized some controlled terror in me and thought he’d best help out. Thank you, Cristian! It’s true, it’s not been easy for me traveling alone in India. I’d been coping, but with a definite lack of grace. Cristian and I become almost inseperable for the next day and a half until his departure and it was transformative for both me and my trip.

For one thing Cristian’s aesthetics are impeccable and his traveling style an art form. He’s gay, but wtih surprising immediate honesty, he also told me he’s been living with AIDS for 24 years. You’d never guess what he’s been through with all the confident vitality that pours out from his being. His fearless love of life helped me to see that bold and foolish are not be the same thing.

Cristian showed me how you just give some of the beggars a little something and a smooth hassle free road opens up. He reminded me that in fact we want to do this. He explained that there’s 2 prices for everything and again, it’s fine. Why should we pay the same as the local people? These things flew against my conventional traveling wisdom and immediately felt right, made me more comfortable. We talked about how much fear there is about travel in India and how that makes it impossible to distinguish what’s really happening. In fact, India can be one of the safest places in the world with proper observation and behavior. Cristian brought me to a sidewalk chole stand, the biggest no no in all the travel books, where we had a delicious fresh meal. In fact most stands are using fresher oil than many of the restaurants. He pointed out things I should notice and expanded my observational vocabulary.

And then he introduced me to his favorite people. We went up to Rishikesh to have lunch with his travel agent. Once again I would’ve made the assumption that anyone in a tourist business just wants to rip you off for whatever they can get of which there are certainly plenty of this type and additionally, it makes sense even if it feels terrible all around. It was fascinating to listen to Rajkesh. He was a diamond merchant in Mumbai for 5 years when his father summoned him back because they wanted him close to the family. He started this business and his father talked to him about providing an honest service that whoever came would know they could trust them. His reverence for his father was tangible and not forced. This was just part of the light chit chat at lunch as topics came and went. But I was moved to hear a young successful businessman’s ideas, feelings and concerns about India and how he negotiates living a proper life.

Then up to the northern reaches of Rishikesh, away from the mega-ashrams with their name brand gurus, to a little place tucked away where Cristian spent three weeks, in partial silence, with lots of yoga, chanting and meditation. The woman swami is delighted to see Cristian and they take me on a tour. It’s located next to the Ganges which is so clean here it’s even safe for foreigners to drink, though don’t worry I won’t do it. It’s probably too cold for me to even take a swim, though I must get in at some point. This ashram has a large impressive organic garden from which they make their sattvic dishes (the gentler, milder, more religious food with no onions or garlic). At one point, I’m standing on a roof overlooking the garden, Ganges flowing mere feet away, looking up into the hills which are hiding the Himalayas beyond. A farm here and there, but this ashram is at the end of the road. Beautiful! If I come for this experience, this will be the place.

But meanwhile Cristian has told me about Kaushal, the man he’s getting private yoga classes from. He wants me to meet him. He says he’s the best yoga teacher in this whole area of countless yoga teachers. He tells me ½ hour with Kaushal was more significant than 6 years of yoga at home plus the ashram. He tells me he’s starting real yoga only now and only wishes he had more time with Kaushal but will be back. I trust Cristian and look forward to meeting Kaushal.

Cristian and I talk and talk and talk and by the time he leaves I not only have a friend I hope to know my whole life, God willing, but I’ve gone from terrified novice traveler to ready to enter an India I hadn’t even contemplated living in – real Indian life with basically no other Westerners. This used to be the way I traveled and I had thought it was me seeking it out. As I now am going deeper in than I’ve been before, I see it’s the opposite – the experiences are seeking me out. I just wish to keep my eyes open and have the wisdom and courage to say YES, when that is what’s called for.

Cristian’s my inspiration for the art of the YES. He leaves me with everything and everyone he loved on his trip plus a gift of an inscribed book of meditations by Krishnamurti and we both continue onward.

“There’s no meditator in meditation. If there is, it is not meditation.” Krishnamurti